3 Understandings to strengthen your marriage.

1. Understand that LOVE is not a feeling or an emotional attachment. When Paul wrote Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” He was not talking about the flutter of butterflies. He simply said love as Christ loved. Give yourself as Christ gave himself.

Love is an action! Understand that and marriage will be a blessing more than a curse. Even if your MATE becomes hard to handle remember Jesus said love your enemy (Matthew 5:44).

2. Understand that you need help. Whether you are the wife or the husband….. YOU NEED HELP. When you choose to leave life’s mate out you start the disease of inadequateness.

When I try to handle life’s concerns and house hold decisions alone I am burdened, stressed, or excited about something affecting the whole family. God already recognizes a husband and wife as ONE body (Mark 10:6-8) so you might as well behave as one body. The old saying “communication is the key” is still the best saying. When you become an open book, or ask your spouse to be an open book you become closer to behaving as one.

Feeling inadequate is the most damaging disease in a marriage. Communicating as ONE body is the cure for this disease. Give yourself to your spouse in all things. Not just in love, but also in every decision big or small.

3. Understand that damaged does not mean broken. Deceptions damage a marriage. Infidelity through adultery or pornography, hidden expenses through misused funds or gambling, or bending the truth to avoid a discussion or a fight is the key to damaging a marriage. But it doesn’t mean the marriage is broken. I am human. You are human. This means it is reasonable to understand that you and your spouse will both damage your relationship at some point. I’m not perfect so it is ridiculous to expect my wife to be perfect. When I am disappointed or upset in something that I was unaware of my first reaction is “I would never!”, but let us remember what Jesus said (John 8:7) to the crowd that wanted to stone a young woman caught in sin. ”He that is without sin/ cast a stone at her”. Don’t break a union over some damaged goods. Communicate the hurt, communicate expectations, and communicate love.

*Side note. If you would have been communicating your struggles and your fears of the capabilities of you damaging your marriage, chances are you would have had help in eliminating a potential tragedy.